


Shared Silence

by dracoglacies



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 07:39:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracoglacies/pseuds/dracoglacies
Summary: Reimu never heard the Hakurei God talked ever since she started her job as a Shrine Maiden, and that took its toll on her.Was she a bad Shrine Maiden after all?





	Shared Silence

The rustling of the leaves because of the wind. The buzzing sound of insects. The sound of her own breathing as she tried to focus on them. And in the end, her own heartbeat. There was no other sounds. The sound she wanted to hear wasn’t there.

To be honest, Reimu had given up to hear the voice by now. She wanted some… reassurance if the god, or goddess was still there, really.

But there was nothing. No sound, not even a shred of something, _anything_.

From what was happening over the last few years, she could infer that they were still there. There was times where things went too close, and the attacks either seemed to veered away from her or she managed to avoid them. (She didn’t want to think it was her own ability).

But if they were there, why did they never showed themselves? Kanako and Suwako were always there for Sanae. They were _real_. She could never tell Sanae how she was slightly jealous over them being that close to each other.

She sighed. Well, nothing she could do over that. Better not dwell on it too long or she wouldn’t be able to continue on her duties tomorrow. Another month finished, she would submerge herself in these thoughts next month.

For now, she just focused on standing up from her meditative position. Her legs felt like there was pins and needles on it for every slight motion but she forced herself to keep moving to one of her storage in the Shrine. It was one for her stash of alcohol, one that she didn’t tell anyone else. Because these were _special_.

Not in the sense they were the best alcohol. Just that they were the ones she had made, a little sour and not as delicious as the ones she bought. But it was just another thing she would do today to offer to the god.

Looking at the amount she had left though, she guessed she would need to make them again next month. She never drunk much during this time, but it still was as much as she could to dull her thoughts.

She took the drink gingerly and moved to the front of the Shrine. Where she could see the night sky. It was a full moon, and she pondered slightly if she should move this… ritual of hers to another day. Full moon was for youkai after all.

Her first sip made her wince slightly, she couldn’t get used to the sourness. But as she drunk a little more, she could catch the hint of the deeper taste and the aroma. Warmth slowly filled her body as she partook in some more sips. She would take her time since she was waiting for a guest anyway.

Which didn’t take long as a familiar _woundoftheuniverse_ seemed to open next to her. The maw gaping wide as Yukari stepped out, wearing her purple nightdress- much simpler than her usual attire. On her hand, Reimu could see a bottle peeking.

“Do you mind if I join? I brought my own drink.” Yukari said with a smile as she stepped off the gap. It closed behind her, leaving nothing on its wake.

Reimu wasn’t sure when Yukari decided to join her for this monthly ritual (except for the winters, but the cold was enough companionship), but the other was always somber, none of her joking or teasing at any other time they met.

Having someone there, even if they were youkai (and she pondered if this was why the god was silent) was good. It helped, and that was enough. Besides, how Yukari looked that first night… she couldn’t really forget.

Yukari had looked so sad that time, and while she herself was feeling the same, she could feel hers was deeper than she was. That first time was the only time she gave Yukari some of the drink she had. It was an acceptance of her being here, and she wouldn’t start saying the other shouldn’t be.

As usual, she didn’t gave her an answer though, just moving her seating slightly. Enough to show her assent. It didn’t take long for Yukari to sit there, drinking her own.

Silence settled between them and that was the way she liked it. The only sounds were the slight rustling of clothes and clinking as they poured their own drinks.

Each drink she had helped to dull the gnawing sense of fear that grew slightly everytime she got no answer.

Another glass, another sip before ending in a gulp.

_Am I a failure of a Shrine Maiden after all?_ Her mind seemed to whisper this night.

Each drink she took let her dull that thought, but she knew next morning she would have to face it again.

* * *

It pained the Hakurei Dragon God to not be able to give an answer to the prayer he got. But the little he got was needed to keep himself alive, and even then, that wasn’t enough.

Once, he was a great being, with golden scales and red spines. His roar showing his majesty, and his teeth and claws were sharp and strong, cutting anything in his path. Then he met one of the ancestors of this family, and he let himself be bound to them, to be the Patron God of the Shrine.

Once, that was a great position.

Now? His golden scales had lost its luster and he couldn’t even move his body. Power wasn’t something he had in spades anymore.

Most of the time, he had to let himself go to deep sleep- only the intense prayer managing to rouse himself up, one he couldn’t answer, just touched him deeply.

He had gotten used to it. To hear prayers he couldn’t answer, but the fact he couldn’t even answer his own Shrine Maiden… At first, it was the intense desire to meet her mother again (One that he couldn’t grant, even when he was at his peak), then it just slowly trickled down, wishing that the villagers would accept her, before it just became something as simple as _him to talk to her_.

Unfortunate then that it took everything he got just to keep this situation going. But as time passed he knew his time wasn’t long, maybe a few years after this… a few dozen years, not long anymore.

Then he felt a rip into his domain. The power was close to his and yet it differed in its core. He sighed softly, tiredness seemed to seep to his body. “Can’t you at least knock just to be polite?” His voice was deep, slightly rough from disuse as he huffed, moving his curled up body slightly.

The being that came to his domain was someone that he would prefer not to be so close to his Shrine Maiden, but in some ways, he knew she wouldn’t let her suffer unnecessarily. A pragmatic being would always be pragmatic after all. She would realize that letting her suffer would only lead to destruction.

“So rude, and here I have properly put her to her bed.” Yukari smiled, a fake one considering he could see the slight worry hidden in her eyes.

He moved his head out of its resting position so he could stare at her properly- even if it did tire him out. “Did she partook that many drinks?” It was a slight worry, after all, humans were fragile, weren’t they?

The light shake relieved that worry- but the next words certainly didn’t. “I think it just took its toll on her. She had fought a lot during the latest incident after all. That mask of hope lasted for a while.”

“Except hope is cruel when there was nothing to be hopeful on.” It was a cold statement, but it was true. No wonder his Shrine Maiden prayers were more mournful, if her feelings of hope was taken away… He let out a small sigh, lowering his head once more.

It was a sign to the youkai that he was done with this conversation- he could feel tiredness filling his soul, his _essence_ once more.

“... You can send a message to her, you know?”

_Through you, where I won’t be able to know if you changed it slightly. All for Gensokyo, after all, isn’t it?_

“Just go. Leave me to my sleep.”

The youkai smiled sadly at him, pitying smile but he had long past caring for his pride. If he had power to be prideful, he had power to speak. But he hadn’t, and so he would keep his silence.

As she left him to his own devices, he looked at his surroundings. The once great dimension had fallen just as he did. It was cramped and filled with nothing.

_She would find a new God for her._

That might be an impossible request, but with how pivotal the Shrine is for Gensokyo… Maybe the next God would do things better than he was.

Slowly, he let his eyes closed. If he was to let that happen, then perhaps, he would let her listen, one last time, with what was left of his power.

* * *

Marisa stared at the newest grimoire in her repertoire, all the while ensuring that her own experiments were handled correctly (Another explosion might destroy her house _this time_ ) and that she needed to ensure that the mushroom she was cross pollinating were also growing well- She did a quick check.

_Seems it_ IS _growing well. Good._

If this one went right, then that meant she should be able to make the next potion soon. Although maybe she would need to put in some calming agent so it wouldn’t immediately explode…

She jotted that idea down, she probably could start this one as soon as next week. Then if her idea was right, that potion would be able to cheer someone up. She could test it first, then probably bring it to Reimu or something- she looked down for their last spar. A bit weird, considering how she was always excited in a fight but she might be tired.

_Now I guess I should pre-_

“Hm? That’s a nice idea you have there, although you might want to add some neutral solution to help.” A very familiar voice told her, and Marisa could see the intruder leaning in from her gap, her eyes peering into her notes.

Marisa grimaced. “Why are you here, Yukari? You normally only disturb Reimu after all.” She didn’t comment on the suggestion- merely noted it on her paper. Not a bad idea and she could recheck before doing it.

The youkai in question merely laughed softly, lounging in her _gap_ and just relaxing.

“Or… do you have something that you can’t ask Reimu to do? I’m the best to resolve incidents after all~” Although Reimu still solved majority of the Incidents. But that didn’t matter, Yukari came to her after all! Take that, Reimu.

“Hmm, I wonder… But you are suitable for this, yes.” Yukari replied, her eyes unreadable. “Let me give you a hint. Reimu was drinking quite heavily yesterday…” Her voice trailed off, as if letting her to continue. Which she did.

“Drinking? She didn’t even invite me…” Really, that was rude of her to not invite- then again, she might have refused considering it was a full moon. That was one of the best nights for some potion-making or rituals.

That remark seemed to make Yukari looked at her with interest. “Ah, to be young again, only knowing drinking was to be feeling happy and merrymaking… Such an innocence. If that’s true. Playing innocent isn’t good idea, Miss Kirisame. You do know Reimu  _ is _ excellent in hiding her feelings just like you did, no?” Yukari’s smile was unnerving as Marisa looked away immediately.

She couldn’t deny the words were true though, but to hell with confirming or denying those sentences then.

“Seems I hit too close, Marisa. Forgive me, let me give you another hint. Two Shrine Maidens competing… One, having a positive reputation in the Village, the other, having negative one… How do you think she’ll feel?” The youkai murmured softly. Marisa frowned as she listened. “Nonetheless, I have sent my message, what you do next is up to you~ I won’t meddle this time.”

_ Wait, meddle? _ Before she could say or even ask anything, Yukari had gone back into her gap, closing it behind her.

She could only stare at the empty air, Yukari’s words repeating back on her head. It was ominous, to say the least. Maybe she should change her plans from next week to now. If what Yukari said was true then- Reimu had hidden her feelings well for quite some time.

A small sigh escaped her, but the consideration itself didn’t take even a minute. She had already started cleaning her table- or as clean as she could. Bookmarking her location in the book, she rechecked her various implements before grabbing her hat and broom. And immediately taking off once she put some more wards around her home.

_You never know when someone decided to sneak in after all! And this case might… not be quick one to solve_.

A small frown appeared on her face as she considered what she should do. People might think she’s too reckless, but really, it was just easier to just go through things with sheer strength than trying to be delicate. Especially when being delicate might just end up with breaking things too.

No answer presented itself to her even when the Shrine was in front of her. Landing with nary a sound, she looked around- taking note of the unswept Shrine. She winced slightly, Kasen would lecture Reimu again if she saw this.

It wasn’t like she didn’t understand where Reimu came from, even if Reimu tried more, it didn’t seem like more people would come. No matter, she should still be polite to Reimu. Bowing slightly to the Shrine, she put in some coins into the box, listening it clattering to wood rather than other coins. As usual then. It was quite… destitute compared to the shiny donation box at the Moriya’s. But in some ways, Marisa liked the one here more.

But still, she waited, cocking her head slightly when there was no sounds even as minutes passed. No hurrying footsteps. Hm, maybe Reimu was in the kitchen? A quick peek to the sky showed that it was around midday, and it wasn’t a stretch to think Reimu would be in the kitchen. And with the distance of kitchen to the front of the shrine, it wasn’t weird that Reimu didn’t hear of the coin.

Oh well, let that be a surprise to her later on. For now, she had a Shrine Maiden to disturb!

* * *

Reimu hadn’t been able to focus enough to do her job for today. It was vastly easier to tell herself that it was alright since there was no visitor for today. She wasn’t sure why, but she almost always got one-day reprieve to piece herself together.

Right now, the headache she got from hangover was mostly gone, and as she finished her cooking (only one portion for lunch and dinner), she started to relax. Maybe she could muster enough energy to clean the Shrine later. Finishing it today would be a boon for her work tomorrow after all- she couldn’t afford to laze on this more than a day or two.

She was starting to eat her meal when the door was slammed open, “Yo Reimu!”

It was the voice of someone she definitely didn’t want to meet today. Marisa wasn’t on the top, she definitely was near the top. “O-Oh, hey Marisa.” She tried to smile, but it felt stiff, and so she let her face smoothed back to neutral. “Can you leave for today? You can come back tomorrow, I promise.” Maybe that was rude, but she had no choice, really. She just had to get rid of her- just for today.

Tomorrow would be enough time for her to piece herself together. Plastering a fake smile to Marisa, “I’ll even cook something extra for you tomorrow even if you didn’t bring me anything.” That would be a hit to her stock, but what mattered was Marisa was bribed _enough_. A little lean picking for a few days wouldn’t kill her considering there was times she couldn’t even muster enough appetite to finish her food.

Then Marisa did what she didn’t think the other would do. She turned around and kept her position, unbudging. “No, Reimu. You can’t bribe me, not today.” She was looking at her as if she was something she never knew and she could dig into it. Reimu had seen Marisa giving that same look to new magic.

She grimaced a bit before smoothing out her face immediately. She knew this was bad, Marisa might not have instinct as good as her own, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be able to piece things. But she really had no idea how to do it- no, she knew how to. She just had to defeat her. But at the same time, her current mindset didn’t lend itself well to a battle. A repeat performance of their last fight wouldn’t be exactly helpful.

“... Your face is kind of obvious when you are planning something, you know.” Marisa commented lightly, a small grin on her face.

She could only scowl at the magician as Marisa invited herself in- something the other had done so many times before, true. Sighing, she let the other be as she prepared some tea for her. “So, what are you going to do? I’m just a little under the weather.” Not exactly a lie, but not the whole truth either.

Once everything’s done, she went back to Marisa with a pot of hot tea and two glasses. She had a feeling she would need something stronger than tea. But she had drunk yesterday, and being drunk in this condition might mean she would spill things she didn’t want to. So tea it was.

“Reimu… you know we are friends, right?” She started tentatively before continuing without her response. “Right, you don’t need to answer that. So it’s just that, you know you can tell me anything… Is this about Sanae?”

She froze before shaking her head. “And what does Sanae has to do with this?” She nearly bit her tongue before she ended up continuing to speak. _That_ wouldn’t end well.

Marisa merely stared at her for a bit before continuing, “I’m merely confirming some things. Yu- well, _someone_ pointed out a few things at me.” Marisa drank the tea slightly before she grimaced and put it down again. “Ow, that’s really hot… And well, it’s just that I’m not sure what exactly would make you be jealous of her?”

_Except for the fact her goddesses are at her side? At how even if she’s at Youkai Mountain, people didn’t say it’s a Youkai Shrine? And Byakuren got nice treatment as well… And she has literal youkais with her right in her temple._

But she held off the words, instead focusing on the aspect she realised from listening to Marisa. “... Did Yukari sent you here?” She scowled slightly, but inside she felt… hurt. She had _trusted_ Yukari to not meddle. Her hand gripped the cup a little harder before she put it down. Cracking one of the few cups she had wasn’t a good idea.

Marisa’s face turned to surprise before she smoothed it over. Letting out a light grin, she sheepishly scratched the side of her face. “Haha… Nope! Why would Yukari even come to my house? Didn’t she always search for you if she needs anything?”

She narrowed her eyes at how Marisa fidgeted slightly when she didn’t answer immediately. “... Fine. Go back then.” She muttered softly, knowing that Marisa would refuse.

And indeed she did, but what she didn’t expect was- “Nope, but how about this? We fought it out in Danmaku- let’s say, 1 spellcard only. You win and I’ll leave it for now. You lost and you’ll talk it out.” She was silent for a bit before continuing in a smaller voice. “Don’t even need to be me, talk it out with Yukari, Suika, Kasen… someone. Prefer it’s me though.” She said, giving a crooked grin at her last sentence.

That was a tempting offer and Reimu sighed. No other choice then. “Fine, we better go outside though. No destroying the Shrine.” She grunted.

Marisa only gave her a thumbs up and a grin as they both walked outside. The walk was filled with silence, Reimu pondering which of her spellcards she should use. Of course, she wanted to use [Fantasy Nature], but right now…

She wasn’t in the right set of mind. So that was out. The Yin-Yang Orb probably would be good, a powerful one, and considering she could control it, meant that she wasn’t sitting duck if they missed the first time- she had time to keep trying. Demon-Binding Circle was double-edged sword considering she wouldn’t be able to move as long as it was up… There was some other appropriate ones, but she felt this would be the best one.

By the time they both hover in front of the shrine, prepared to unleash their spellcard, Reimu was sure on what spellcard she wanted to use.

“Well then, Reimu, you can start~” She shouted over from her side as she let out a cocky grin.

While she couldn’t give an answering grin- a small, forced smile would suffice. From their distance she wouldn’t be able to see how it wasn’t genuine anyhow. “Don’t you regret it if I defeat you in a go! [Holy Relic “Yin-Yang Demon God Orb”]”

It was comforting to pull out her power as one of her Yin-Yang Orb immediately came to her side, pushing in her spiritual power into it, she moved it slightly- yep, it moved according to her wishes. Now to aim it to Marisa (who was still grinning, but noticeably much more fixed) was a harder process, considering she wasn’t going to just throw it.

Thankfully, Marisa was patient and not even letting out a peep. But Reimu could see that slight fidget as impatience started to war within her. _Time to see if she can keep dodging._ With a grin and a wave of her hand- the Yin-Yang Orb started to move.

It was much alike a huge beast, slow at first and she could see Marisa starting to relax on it. With a grin, she pumped a _lot_ more power into it and she could see how that affect the speed. With satisfaction, she could see how it gained speed and Marisa starting to realize that the speed wasn’t going to stay the same.

“Can I dock points for design for this one, Reimu?” She shouted, dodging the Orb as Reimu angled it well- sometimes Reimu wondered if Marisa had another eye for dodging, that would explain how well she seemed to realize where the Orb was coming from.

“If I’m allowed to do the same for your ‘Master Spark’.” She retorted, not as loud but at least clear. Focusing on the Orb wasn’t as easy as it looked like- the bigger she made it was, the slower it was until she pushed in more power into it. This spellcard really wasn’t designed for long usage.

Marisa looked like she sucked on something sour hearing her answer, but she still dodged as well as she usually did.

Reimu wasn’t sure how long she managed to keep the Orb running as fast as it was, but she knew she had only enough power to run it for three more passes at most, and Marisa had grazed nearly everytime the Orb passed near her. Ugh.

So, instead of three more passes she should make it fast enough for one last pass. While paying half attention at Marisa, she started to focus on pouring more power into the Orb. It didn’t need to be too big, so she also converted some size for speed… but she had to be careful on the speed as well. Too fast and she might ended up with an accident and she really didn’t want that.

That was then she realized she had did one mistake in Danmaku- not paying attention where her enemy was. Through the course of pouring power into the Orb, she had naturally shut down other distractions-

“BLAZING STAR!” Was the only warning she had, but with Marisa’s speed, and that she was still holding onto the Orb… And Marisa hit her straight on.

* * *

The winner of the fight was clearly Marisa, and Reimu regretted her impulse to accept the duel. But still, she had accepted and… well, it would be a farce if she didn’t follow her own rules, did it?

Marisa looked a bit chagrined instead of smug though. Which was weird. “Well… this doesn’t exactly count in our duels, so you still have the edge here. After all, if you are fighting like you usually do… I won’t be able to beat you with that tactic. And one spellcard isn’t much of a fight anyway.” She muttered the last part softly, and Reimu couldn’t help but let out a small smile- genuine one this time.

Although once she was reminded what she had to do, that smile was gone as quickly. “Let’s… go back first. I don’t want to speak it out at public like this.” Nevermind that the Shrine was deserted, and if her guesses were right, that there wouldn’t be any distractions. Not even from Aya.

Still, those words seemed to turn Marisa’s face to pensive as she floated down and both of them walked back to the Shrine. She could… talk about it while making second portion for Marisa probably. Shouldn’t take too long, although they should split the rice then…

But that was all just distraction for her mind to latch onto, she didn’t _want_ to. But she lost so she _had_ to. Thankfully, Marisa didn’t press her even if she could. It was the winner’s prerogative after all.

So while she still thought about it, she started to prepare to cook for Marisa’s portion as well as reheating the tea. That would make the tea tasted worse, but she wouldn’t throw out any extra she had just because it wasn’t tasty.

“I’ll… start a little early, and things probably didn’t make sense but don’t ask me until the end, alright?” Reimu started, looking towards Marisa.

The magician just gave her a nod, her face as serious as she ever saw her.

But now she had to focus back… “When I was small, I have always been taught to follow the rituals. How to do things, how to…” She paused slightly, but she knew she couldn’t push it off. “Exterminate youkais. But I barely got any education at all before the previous Shrine Maiden died, and I never _understood_ the significance of what I did.”

Another pause, it was hard to say it like this. She had so many things she wanted to say- but it wasn’t like she could change the past. And in a way, she was glad that she didn’t understand as much as she did now. If she did, her relationships with them probably weren’t this… cordial. “Anyway, I did as much as I could- I have the power, but not finesse. So I started seeking what I could to improve myself on that part… And I found out how as a Shrine Maiden, I could commune with the God of the Shrine.”

It was here that she started to feel pain, she _remembered_ how she hoped that the God would be able to enlighten her. “Suffice to say, I got no answer from the God. None.” She couldn’t really push herself to continue as she stood there, in front of the boiling teapot and tears pricking her eyes slightly.

She shouldn’t be crying… she had accepted this, hadn’t she? Trying as hard as she could, she squared her shoulders and took away the pot from fire, changing it to her meal and adding some more water and seasoning. Although with how her hand was shaking, she probably added more than she should.

By the time she poured the hot tea again to Marisa and herself, she still wasn’t feeling like herself but- some part of her was okay with continuing. “S-so. That started my monthly… _ritual._ ” She wasn’t sure what it was, but she knew it wasn’t exactly a thing that was done. And with her doing it monthly… It should fit ritual than tradition. “I keep trying, and there was no answer.” She whispered.

“Reimu…” Marisa’s voice was small, but she stopped when Reimu glared at her. That shut her up quickly, but Reimu also quickly averted her eyes once she did so. She didn’t want to see the pity… or far more likely, maybe the other would see that she was being pathetic.

She gripped her mug a little, the heat helped slightly to focus on it instead of whatever Marisa’s current emotion was. “So I thought that the God didn’t answer because it had no power, you see… I could live with that.” The next part was harder, but stopping here was also not something she wanted to do.

“But then… the Moriya Shrine arrived. Kanako and Suwako…” And here she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as they slowly fell down. “I… I was _jealous_ of them. Still am. They have two goddesses with them, Sanae able to talk, to _converse_ … And they were from the Outside, where there’s no more Faith to be gathered. That…” She felt pathetic with all her tears, but she continued still. She didn’t want to stop here. She was almost finished…

“That cemented my thoughts, I was a bad Shrine Maiden, wasn’t I? I didn’t understand why I did what I did. The villagers called me the Youkai Shrine Maiden…” She let out a choking laugh at that. “So… that was what eating me.” She managed to edge out as she tried to wipe her tears.

Finishing those made her feel… not empty, but perhaps, a little more relieved. At least no matter what happened here… She finally unburdened herself. She didn’t realize how much holding those words back _hurt_ her.

Slowly, she looked up to Marisa and she froze at how… angry the other seemed to be. But when Marisa took notice of her, the angry look was smoothed away, leaving a sadness as Marisa stood.

_Is she leaving-?_ Was what she thought, but instead of going outside, she moved next to her and- pulled her to a hug?

“Wh-?!” She was too surprised to form a coherent sentence even.

Instead, the magician shushed her as she started to stroke her hair. “I… might not understand everything. But Reimu… you might be one lazy person and you held onto your talent more than you should- but… you aren’t _bad_ , y’know?” She murmured.

It might be empty platitudes, but for now- for now, she could accept it, right?

* * *

Tonight would be full moon once again, the first one since her “talk” with Marisa. She knew she needed it, but that didn’t mean she was exactly happy with what happened. Nonetheless, all of these would be for next time. Now, she needed to focus.

Kneeling slowly in the middle of the room, she closed her eyes and prayed. Her spiritual power was strong, and she let it simmer around her, just filling the whole room. It was comforting and made her less worried even as she started to breathe slowly. Just focusing on her breathing as her mind slowly unraveled each sound she could hear.

Her own heartbeat, regular with its rhythm as her mind seemed to be calm. Then she could hear the slight rustle of her own outfit- she never could completely stay still. But that wasn’t a big distraction as she heard more, noting the slight sound of insects buzzing and wind rustling the leaves outside.

There was nothing other than those sounds once more. Of course that was what would happen- her mood, originally higher than usual started to drop down. She had held onto hope once more, but it wasn’t answered.

She breathed, trying to calm down. She shouldn’t have clung to hope- those were lies. It was the same as her mask that she put onto others to see. But still, she couldn’t help but kept the hope alive. She might not like it anymore, but if she didn’t hope for it, who would?

_You are…_

Reimu froze. She was quite sure her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her as she tried to go back to her focused stage, just trying to listening once more-

_A good shrine maiden…_

The voice was weak and she could barely hear it, but it didn’t matter. Tears slowly fell from her eyes as she just _listened_. She listened attentively- hearing everything the God told her. The first time she could listen, something she could hold on.

It didn’t matter even as the talk wounded down- and she knew this came to an end. She knew what would happen to him next. The God might not tell her, but she _could_ feel the weakness through the link this time. It wasn’t surprising if she really thought about it. But in a way, she supposed it was inevitable. Slowly, she wiped the tears off her cheeks and she stood up.

Maybe tonight, she could start talking with Yukari. About the God and everything she knew of him. This didn’t solve her problems, really. Her problems were still there, but maybe, just maybe, she could face tomorrow a little easier this time.

She could face forward to the future, old problems, new ones to be faced... but for now, it was time for mourning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this to the end, I hope you enjoyed reading it! This work is mostly aimed for "What if Reimu put a mask for her whole interaction with others, and hide a lot of negative thoughts behind that?"
> 
> Probably doesn't work as well, but nonetheless, I hope this didn't make Reimu too mopey or something.


End file.
